As i make up my mind to tell, i feel a certain chill envelope my whole being, i try to brace myself as i walk up to him, my boyfriend, the love of my life, that i've betrayed, cheated on. I call him dstracting him from the game on tv, and he answers, staring at me with this sweet endearing look in his eyes, my heart goes out to him and it's all i can do not to chicken out. "Dare" i say again "yes babe... the game's on of course i know that... i say in my head "i like girls" i whisper "what? can you say that again" "i said i like girls" so big deal" he says turning back to concentrate on his game. "you dont get" i say getting hysterical "what is it with you?" he asks obviously puzzled i know then that he dos not understand me and probably too self absorbed to even try to. should i tell him in clearer words or should i leave him to his man-ness? i argue within me. i mean things would
just be alot easier if i say nothing and let sleeping dogs lie. for a moment, just a moment, i decide to let things be. But that par of my head where my concience resides seem to have a stronger hold on me as i find myself telling him again this time slower and in less vague terms about my perference for girls. The look on his face is one i'll never forget. it was lik i had dealt him a huge blow in his groins with a two by four base ball bat. It was suprise first, then disgust, before hate. All in quick successions, and it was at that point i believed that truely there is a thin line between love and hate, and maybe, just maybe i had helped Dare cross that line. He stands up and attempts to walk past me and as i try to use my small frame to block his way, he pushes me, causing me to twist my ankle as i fall. I do not know what hurts most at that moment, the twisted ankle or the sabbing pain in my chest. Dare would never hurt a fly, or so i
thought. Guess i had pushed him to his limit, guess i deserve every for of pain my body is being subjected to. I manage to drag myself upstairs, not minding my throbbing foot but concentrating more on theexcruciating pain on my chest. maybe i should not have said anything, maybe i should have let things as they were. Why do i have to go and destroy something so perfect, so true and pure. Now im loosing the one person that made me understand whan it means to love, the only one i felt normal around. What have i done, i scream silently. I feel empty for the rest of the day and i cant help but wonder where Dare is, what he's doing to himself, who he's with...... while i sit and wait for Dare to return, i take a trip down memory lane and revive the sequence of events that got me on this path. I was just a teenager, a few years befor my twentieth birthday when i began to have these cravings to be with girls, i could remember that while my mates
would fantasize about famous male celebrities, mine was with the females. i knew i was not normal, my God it was obvious i was not. i would get turned on by asses and boobs and not by broadchested hunks. i had to have been born that way. then my fantasies were brought to reality by Bimbo. That day would forever remain the one significant day that changed my life for good. I was overwhelmed by the pleasures gotten from my escapades with her. It was like i had been shown a whole new world with lots of beautiful places and the free will to explore. it's been five years since the event with Dare happened. i never told anyone else about my preference and Dare was kind enough to keep my secret between us. Though myself and him would never be friends. And even as i pray to god every day to take away this abmormality, i know, deep within me that i'd forever remain a Lesbian.
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